i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
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I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
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I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
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