I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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