Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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