I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Randomize