I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
