Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
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If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize