The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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