She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Randomize