I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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