So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.