why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.