My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.