I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
