I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
