I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
operation harelip BJ is a go
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
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thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
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Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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