Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(504): View more from Louisiana

I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.

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(504): I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine. http://tfl.nu/uiwl

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(417): View more from Missouri

So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.

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(417): So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes. http://tfl.nu/bjrk

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.

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(508): All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed. http://tfl.nu/eckq

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(304): View more from West Virginia

I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."

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(304): I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God." http://tfl.nu/1oy5

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(765): View more from Indiana

The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor

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(765): The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor http://tfl.nu/xtoh

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(607): View more from New York

Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?

(607): View more from New York

Nevermind, it's in the dryer.

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(607): Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head? (607): Nevermind, it's in the dryer. http://tfl.nu/r8jx

Replies (6) Good night (3311) Bad night (773)
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(916): View more from California

whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door

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(916): whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door http://tfl.nu/x1rj

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster

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(412): Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster http://tfl.nu/uote

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(727): View more from Florida

It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.

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(727): It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together. http://tfl.nu/hikf

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.

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(570): Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter. http://tfl.nu/84op

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(+64): View more from New Zealand

Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.

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(+64): Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please. http://tfl.nu/o748

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(650): View more from California

Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night

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(650): Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night http://tfl.nu/338b

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(910): View more from North Carolina

Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.

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(910): Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music. http://tfl.nu/9l8h

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(512): View more from Texas

dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts

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(512): dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts http://tfl.nu/md3j

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(773): View more from Illinois

Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.

(1-773): View more from Illinois

Can you see in?

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(773): Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter. (1-773): Can you see in? http://tfl.nu/hc5g

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