Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?