I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.