She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat