I'm so fucking centered right now
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
