oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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