God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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