Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I can't turn off my feet"
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
