So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
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