I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
We left an ass print on the piano.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
We are all done wearing pants today
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
