If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
