just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
I have demons in me.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize