dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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