Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Randomize
