the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
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