is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Randomize
