The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
