If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
People With No Siblings Will Never Understand These 23 Things
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
25 Seemingly Normal Things That Give Some People Massive Anxiety
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot