Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
