and you said cock pushups were impossible
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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