Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize