sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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