I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize