Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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