I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
