i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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