i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
