Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
