Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Sext me about skeletons
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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