its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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