You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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