We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize