I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
