So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Rumble strips road head = magical
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
The uberlube is also flammable
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
