so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..