i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
