we have pet lesbian snakes
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
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