i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Randomize
