Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i just had sex bonerless
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
