I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
