An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
