I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize