i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
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