i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
