The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
