I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
its not stalking. its research.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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