This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
