its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I believe in your delicious
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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